


emo japan

by 2shy2call911



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Anthony Padilla - Freeform, Bullying, CP, Cliche, Crack, Creepypasta, Hitachiincest, Hoodie, Jeff the Killer - Freeform, M/M, Majora's Mask, Pure Crack, Sally - Freeform, Self Harm, Sexy, Slenderman - Freeform, Yaoi, aka carl, ben drowned - Freeform, dave strider - Freeform, doctor coconut (phineas and ferb), emo japan, eyeless jack - Freeform, fairy tail - Freeform, mario - Freeform, masky - Freeform, prupan is the main pairing, totes porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4760318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2shy2call911/pseuds/2shy2call911
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>america, spain, germany, romano, and china were a badass clique<br/>japan was just their poor, emo target :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. well, it's an anime protagonist's duty, isn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> may be offensive to some, sorry <3  
> contains: slurs, self harm, crack, and sexy japan

america, spain, germany, romano, and china were a badass clique

they drank chocolate milk shakes while wearing dave strider shades

they rode to their on their tricycles liKE BOSSES

AND THEY BEAT UP EMO FAGS

ONE OF THOSE EMOS BEING POOR INNOCENT JAPAN

* * *

japan ran into class late one day. there was a piece of bread hanging from his mouth bc he ran all the way here like the anime school girl he was. he looked around the room before flipping his emo hair dramatically.

"japan why are you late to my class" yelled the teacher who was cuba

japan didnt say anything through his mouth full of toast. he would have responded but he didnt want to be disrespectful.

cuba slapped him. tears sprung to japan's eyes. "sit the fuck down" said cuba. japan obliged and walked over to his seat, his head down and emo hair covering his face.

one student purposely held their leg out and tripped him. he fell to his doom, landing in his chair fortunately. everyone laughed and japan only ignored them, turning to face the window, he sat in the back of the class like the true anime protagonist he was.

cuba went over to japan "japan" he said "you suck" he then slapped him

japan cried harder, flipping his emo hair.

"you also swallow but eh" cuba shrugged "fag"

all the students threw rotten apples and spit balls at japan

"HEY DONT HIT ME" YELLED CUBA as he too got pelted

japan suddenly stood up, aggressively, his chair clattering to the floor

everyone continued attacking him and he bit back sobs, running out of the room, an arm covering his face to try and conceal his dignity. his emo hair flew in the breeze.

japan ran into the bathroom, the girls bathroom. a girl named italy who wasnt actually a girl screamed and flailed and ran out of there

japan ignored him and dropped to his knees, sliding under and in a stall. he flipped his emo hair before getting out a razor and slitting his wrists like a true emo. he then continued to cry, flipping his emo hair like anthony padilla. but after crying he cleaned up and bandaged bc u dont wanna get infected or else dr mario will come and shivers nobody wants that

in burst america, china, spain, germany, and romano

"yo fag" said america

"yo retard" said china

"yo loser" said spain

"yo hoe" said germany

"yo bitch" said romano

"ur sexy" said germany "but u still suck"

"YEAH" screamed romano

spain kicked him

america strode over to japan and looked him in the eye but japans focus was on china

they used to be bffs before china went to the popular crowd :O

suddENLY AMERICA KISSED JAPAN

EVERYONE GASPED

EXCEPT JAPAN BC HE WAS BEING ATTACKED BY AMERICA

then america pushed him away and grabbed him, shoving him into the toilet behind him

"haha u idiot" said america

japan couldnt hear over his crying and bc the water

the gang continued dunking him in the toilet as he sobbed

the bell rang

"shit i must go" said china

he kicked japan in the butt before running off

"I CANT BE LATE TO PE AGAIN" YELLED SPAIN AS HE AGGRESSIVELY SPEED WALKED THE FUCK OUTTA THERE

"SAME" GERMANY TIP TOED BEHIND HIM BUT HIS TIP TOEING IS LIKE OLYPMIC RUNNING SO

america pulled japan out of the toilet

"bye u bitch" he said

he kissed japan again, punched him, then danced out

japan laid on the floor crying, but still looked sexy ;)

he got out his razor again, slowly sitting up, slitting more and more

suddenly, the door to the bathroom slammed open again

a figure gasped and walked over to the stall

japan looked up with burry vision bc tears then fainted from blood loss

to be continued...

oh and romano stood in the corner and watched :)

 


	2. La mamá de prusia tiene que ir en

okay after poor japan passed out the rlly cool and nonemo but still really sexy unidentified guy carried him to 911

yes 911 fite me

the 911 people were like "wtf boy u take him to the hospital"

so then the emo and the still unidentified guy were at the hospital

"mm que dices" said the unidentified guy even tho he doesnt speak spanish

he then proceeded to sob over japan's body

"hello sir ur crying over a dead body" said the nurse

the unidentified guy looked up dramatically. he gasped at the word dead.

the nurse looked back, her ugly eyes that are too insignificant to be described stared back at the unidentified guy's crimson red orbs that matched his sparkly red dress

suddenly he yelled to the skies "MY NAME IS MM QUE DICES""

suddenly his mom popped up "ok i am not his mom im the author also ur name is not mm que dices stfu ur name is prussia"

prussia's mom suddenly vanished

"mom stop interrupting dammit" said prussia before he collapsed back on japan's body, sobbing

"prussia honey" said the nurse

suddenly she bitchslapped him

"uve gotta wake the fuck up"

suddenly japan woke up

the nurse turned

"i wasnt talking to u sweetie but that works too"

prussia smiled

"yo im prussia"

japan screamed

 

2 TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE


	3. at the hospital

japan continued screaming and began thrashing wildly  
AND PRUSSIA UN-SMILED  
THE NURSE BEGAN TO PANIC "OMG CALL A NURSE"  
"you are a nurse" said prussia  
"SHUT UP BOI"" and she bitchslapped him again  
suddenly japan began pullingn at the sudden life-support cord that appeared  
"BAE NO" prussia yelleD AND HE LUNGED AT JAPAN and STRADDLED HIM SEXILY  
THE NURSE STARED,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
JAPAN BEGAN TO SOB "NO MM QUE DICES"  
"CALL ME PRUSSIA" SAID PRUSSIA "PLEASE"  
"..." JAPAN WAS SILENT "PRUSSIA"  
AND PRUSSIA SQUEALED "OMGOMGOMGOMG"  
AND JAPAN  WAS CONFUSED, HE FORGOT ALL ABOUT LIFE SUPPORT NOW  
dr coconut barged in  
"yes hello i am a doctor" he said, adjusting his coconut bra  
prussia nOSEBLEEDED  
japan stared in fear at dr coconut As he walked over with his grass skirt and sexy doctors coat  
"ur emo right?" asked dro coco nut  
japan nodded silenlty, ,tears in his yes  
dr coconut nodded "knwe it"  
prussia stared. emo? japan was emo?? but how?????? was that why those losers were bullying him...?  
dr coconut sighed "whats ur level of emo?"  
japan flipped his hair  
dr coconut gasped "thats very high..." he thought for a moment, then walked closer "do u cut ur wrists?"  
japan nodded again and prussia held back a gasp  
"nurse!" yelled dr coconut "get me some eyelner stat!"  
and the nurse ran to the makeup kit and tossed eyeliner @ the doctor of cocnuts  
"japan, let me put this on u" said dr coconut  
japan screamed  
"hold him back boi" dr coconut said to prussia  
prussia let a tear slip out of his eye but obliged, going over to japan's bed and holding his arms behind him  
"im sorry japan" prussia whmpered as japan continued screaming  
dr coconut leaned forward, applying a thick coat of eyeliner  
japan sobbed some more and the nurse had to leave the room, she couldnt take the emotional-ness of it all  
"now the other eye" said dr coconut, mainly to himself, as he did the same to the other eye. he then  added an unnecessarily large wing to one, then the other  
dr ooconunt stepped back "im done"  
prussia let go of japan who immediately junmeedp up and rushed to a miror  
"oh no........." he said  
prussia and dr cococnut looked in fear  
japan continued, "im hot"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what am i doing with my life  
> and when will prussia tell japan how hot he is even tho japan already knows hes hot?


	4. life lesson from germ-germs u cant stand without a leg down on the ground

prussia gasped and flailed "omg u were always hot"

dr coconut gasped and fainted on the spot into prussias arms and prussia readily catched that mofo

japan posed dramatically "yee" he siad

dr coconut lay in prussias arms and prussia then dropped him like something thats hot and u dont wanna hold because yikes it burns but japan would burn even more bc hes even hotter ;)

suddenly the BULLIES BURSTED IN AKA CHINA, GERMANY, SPAIN, ROMANO, AND AMERICA

THEY TWERKED IN STYISHLY BUT IN A VERY RUDE MANNER WHICH TRIGGERED JAPAN GREATLY

the nurse who suddenly appeared back in the room gaspd and nosebleeded @ their bully sexiness mm quello che dici

"were here 2 harass u via drive thru" america sed

JAPAN BEGAN TO BE VERY TRIGGERED AND HE SOBBED AGAIN

PRSUSIA GAPSPED AND DROPPE DR COCONUT GAIN EVEN THO HE ALREADY DROPPED HIM ONCE AND RUSHED OVER TO JA-PAN-PAN-MC-EMO-PANTS

 

PRUSSIA EALEAPED OVER AND WENT TO CALM JAPAN BUT SUDDENLY CHINA TRIPPED HIM AND HE FELL TO HIM DOOM, SADLY NOT LANDING SEXILY ON TOP OF JAPAN TO STRADDLE HIM YAOI-LY

THEN SUDDENLY A MCDONALDS BAG FLEW THRU THE WINDOW AND LANDED ON AMERICAS FACE AND OUT FELL A Single fry

"omg" america fangirled and pro-seed-i'd to eat the fry

prussia snatched the bag and gave it to japan-pan-mc-emo-pants

japan then crumbled it up and threw it at germany

AND GERMANY GASPED IN AN OFFENDED MANNER BEFORE RAISING HIS LEG

"i trusted u japn...." he said sadly

prussia gLARED

"u liar"

"u mean im a slutty boy" germany raised his other leg winking

but then he fell to his doom bc he cant stand without a leg down on the ground

china and romano both kicked him

then they attacked each other in anger bc they wanted to be the only one to kick the germ-germs

japan stared in a confused, triggered manner before flipping his emo hair again

he felt so left out,,,,,, why,,,,,,,????????//

"prussia r u becoming emo too?" spain gasped

prussia glared and his red orbs still matched his sparkly red dress he hadnt taken off for an entire week

the nurse stepped back in

"we can treat u for ur emoness u know" she said and she pointed

"u didnt give me ice cream for my treat" japan whined

she turned "shut up boy ur treat was being hot"

japan swiftly took off his shirt "i was already hot"

china stopped battling the roman-of-o's "is that a drawn on six pack"

"MAYBE" japan blushed and put his shirt back on

the nurse and prussia held each other and gasped again in awe at japans hotness

so emo

so sexy

:')

"ur such an artist...." said romano and he touched japans drawn on six pack through his shirt

pRUSSIA GASPED

"NOT MY EMO MAN" AND HE LUNGED AT ROMANO

2 be continued

maybe...........

intense ending is intense!11111~~!11!1!~!11!1!~1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gasp is romano x japan becoming a thing????? o:  
> also my friend heyla gave me help with this chapter over skype 3  
> dont tell her i still call her heyla ok bye


	5. u cant spell yaoi without yao

japan sighed at those mofos before going up and dropkicking romano. romano screamed.

PRUSSIA LOOKED AT JAPAN HAPPILY BUT THEN JAPAN PUSHED HIM TO THE WALL

"stop being idiots" said japanpan in a tsundetsun way

prussia began to cry

romano patted his back "there there"

prussia glared at romano and romano jumped back in fear

china, spain, america, and germany were watching in silence

dr coconut cleared his throat "nurse"

and the nurse turned

"get me some yaoi"

JAPAN GASPED "YAOI?"

"whats yaoi" said everyone

the nurse gasped "U DONT KNOW WHAT YAOI IS?"

china stepped up 2 the plate "u cant spell yaoi without yao"

"stfu" said the nurse handing china some yaoi-yao

china gasped + nosebleeded "omg"

JAPAN NOSEBLEEDED AT HIS EX BFFS NOSEBLEED

prussia glared

romano smiled for some reason

then spain broke the peace

"r u rlly emo japan"

japan was silent

"FAG" said germany

"THATS MY LINE" said america

germany sobbed "IM SORRY, I JUST WANTED TO HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT FOR ONCE"

prussias mom popped up "STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL"

"MOM? WYD" PRUSSIA BELLOWED

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP" SAID ROMANO

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UPED

"LOOK AT JAPAN"

japan, tears in his eyes, had his eyeliner smudged and running down his face

DR CCONUT GASPED

"nurse get MORE eyeliner STAT!"

the nurse went to get more but suddenly got stopped by dr coconut "the... _special_ kind"

gasp!! "are u SURE donut?" she asked, her nickname for dr coconut being donut

"IM SURER THAN SURE!" dr coconut paused, then sadly said "we have no other choice"

it was so dramatic

america sobbed on the ground

germany and spain clung 2 each other

china looked out the window pretending not to care

romano sobbed and prussia hit him

japan was shaking in fear as he got pushed onto the bed by dr coconut

"read this yaoi and distract urself" said dr coconut as he hanged yaoi ti japan

japan nodded silently and began 2 read as dr coconut got out his tools

it had to be done..................


	6. reading da yaoi

japan began 2 read the yaoi as dr coconut picked up the /waterproof/ eyeliner

dr coconut began 2 apply it under his eye. japan wanted to scream in pain but instead he picked up the yaoi and began to read.............

_HIKARU BEGAN TO TWERK AND KAORU GASPED_

_DRAMATICALLY_

_dot dot dot.........._

_dotdotdotdotdot....................._

_"UR SO GOOD AT TWERKING" said kaoru before beginning to blush and sob wildly_

_hikaru backflipped and twerked more like a skilled cheerleader_

japan outside of the yaoi was like "OMG" and dr coconut was like "CALM URSELF JAPAN IM TRYING TO PERFORM SURGERY" and japan just began to fanboy over the yaoi

china over at the window was like "twincest is bestcest so i mean im with you japan"

japan ignored them and continued to read

_kaoru fainted_

_and hikaru began to sob "no my bby"_

_he leaned down to cowroo and kissed him_

_like in a fairy **tail**_

_...._

_nothing happened_

_SIKE_

_KAORU JUMPED UP AND PUNCHED HIKARU_

_HIKARU SCREAMED_

_KAORU CRIED "OMG I DIDNT MEAN TO"_

"BORING" YELLED JAPAN "WHERES THE SMUT"

"stfu japan im tRYING TO OPERATE" dr coconut angrily said, holding up his pitch fork

"why the fuck do u need a pitchfork"

"dont ask"

japan just sighed

_kaoru cried more and more feeling vv guilty_

_hikaru held him "im sorry"_

_they both sobbed_

_then suddenly_

_they were bOTH NAKED_

_AND YAOI BEGAN TO HAPPEN_

"FINALLY" CHEERED JAPAN, FLAILING HIS HANDS "JAPAN STOP" DR COCONUT DROPPED HIS ICE CREAM ON THE YAOI

japan flicked it off "ew" suddenly he looked up and spain was leaning over his shoulder

he SLAMMED THE YAOI SHUT "MY YAOI"

spain squeaked "im sorry" japan was v intimidating with his emo-ness and vv scary

he ran away

japan angrily shoved his face back into the china

i mean yaoi

~~"I HEARD THAT" yelled china~~

 

_kaoru sat on hikarus head_

_"now what"_

_"now we dance"_

_and they both began_

_\--the page is ripped and smeared with who knows ;)--_

"NOOOOOO" JAPAN SCREAMED, THROWING THE BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM

DR COCONUT JUMPED, THROWING THE EYELINER BACK

JAPAN, WHO GOT STABBED IN THE EYE, WAS CRYING BLOOD

BUT NOT BC OF HIS EYE

BC OF THE YAOI

"omg" said germany and he jumped into americas arms

"ew" america threw him down, looking at japan

japan was suddenly wearing a green hat, a green robe thingy, and green _link_ -clothing and bad boots, so last year wyd japan

america nosebleeded at this

china glared @ america _"not my ex bff"_ he thought

romano blushed

so did prussia

but he was mad

JAPAN WAS HIS

HE FOUND HIM FIRST

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"r u ok" yelled the nurse

japan blinked, and wiped his eye

"no......."

he then was silent before saying again "u shouldnt have done that"

**DUN DUN DUN..........**

to be continued probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyla helped me with this chapter over skype again ilh <3


	7. looking for u

germany, the cp weeb fangirl, screamed @ japans ben drowned cosplaying

america hit him "stfu"

"u know u love me" said germ-germ raising his leg

america kicked his other leg and he fell "no i love japan"

prussia hissed

romano began to cry

and all was horrible

the nurse wiped japans eye with a pink napkin and japan sneered @ the pink "smh"

"ok ur free 2 go" said dr coconut

japan jumped up "finally i hate coconuts"

dr coconut gasped........................................................................................

"get out u sinful boi"

and dr coconut kicked everyone out except the nurse

"what now" said prussias mom

"go away mom" said prussia

prussias mom disappeared

japan clung to prussia and sobbed

"ty for saving me prussia-sama"

prussia patted his tiny head "ur welcome loser"

"so why are we still here" asked china

japan was triggered at china aka his ex bff

japan began to cry more

prussia glared "idk now LEAVE" he yelled pointing away from the hospital

suddenly a tall figure appeared

"omg ben we found u" he said picking him up with a tentacle

evERYONE SCREAMED "WTF"

"stop going out on ur own nerd" said jeff teh killa, kicking his butt

"wtf" said japan "who is ben"

"YOU" said the tentacle guy and he put him on his head which was like 12 feet up in the air

china hid behind spain "omg"

the canadian guy named eyeless jack suddenly jumped down from the sky "who r u guys"

"WERE THE BEST CLIQUE" said america

suddenly a tiny little girl appeared

"OMG NEVERMIND AAA" and america hid behind germ-germ who was already hiding behind japan himself

also 2 gay guys were there too

"dONT HURT JAPAN" YELLED PRUSSIA

"whos japan" said japan

"you u moron"

"o yeah"

suddenly slenderman aka the tentacle guy began to walk off "WE MUST GO, MURDER CALLS US" he said, marching

all the other random people who appeared began to follow

"WHAT IS GOING ON" sobbed romano

prussia hesitantly patted his back which only made romano sob more

china gasped "no..."

"we must go after them."

**to be continued**


	8. what's an emo?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello guess whos back.

japan managed to escape the slenderest of men

we dont talk about those dark times.......

when he escaped he saw china and ran to him

"OMG CHINA SAVE ME" japan fell to his knees and sobbed

china blinked then felt bad for leaving him for the popular crowd "im SORRY JAPANPAN"

THEY HUGGED AND SOBBED WHILE CLINGING TO EACH OTHER. JAPAN BLEW HIS NOSE INTO CHINA'S SHIRT.

"ew" said china but he didnt push him away

suddenly the others came up

"omg youre okay" said spain who was suddenly wearing all black and had spiky hair

"whoa when did you become one of us?" asked japan

"oneofusoneofusoneofus" chanted some random girl with purple streaked hair

"who are you" asked germany

"your worst nightmare :3" she said

"go away XxM3wM3wK1ssyCut13xX" said japan

XxM3wM3wK1ssyCut13xX frowned and walked away "sorry."

all the spotlight went back on spain as he flipped his hair "i was born emo"

prussia gasped "so hot"

romano scoffed and thought to himself "u dont truly love japan u just have an emo fetish"

japan felt his heart break but didnt say anything and just made a reminder to cut 7 times later, once for every letter in prussia's name

"do you guys even know what emo is" asked america

"its when you know how to party" said spain, beginning to dance weirdly

china booped him on the head with a newspaper "thats not it you barnacle head"

"it's when you know what it's like to be zombie aka dead inside" said japan

america shook his head "hipsters..." he was the only sensible one

and then the not-girl named italy came walking by wearing toilet paper "do u guys know where the bathroom is"

the girl with purple streaked hair was sitting on ~~her~~ his back trying to shove a quarter into ~~her~~ him

"STOP TRYING TO MAKE TOILET PAPER A THING" SCREAMED JAPAN. HE KNEW TRUE FASHION. AKA ALL BLACK AND SPIKES AND NO PINK.

the girl with purple streaked hair scoffed "pshaw"

to be continued,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


	9. romano the sad boi

prussia looked at japan  
  
"hey japan this is the part in the plot where we go out, then i fall into a suggestive position with some other guy and you think im cheating so u run off crying, then we work things out and are happily ever after"  
  
japan blushed  
  
"are you asking me out?"  
  
everyone gasped loudly except romano who gasped super loudly. china nearly fainted.  
  
prussia shrugged "maybe i am" then he winked flirtily  
  
japan said "omg of course i ludd u!!!"  
  
romano whimpered "im a sad boi"  
  
italy and the girl with purple streaked hair were eating popcorn with extra butter yummy we all know thats the best kind  
  
"this is a good movie" said italy  
  
the girl with purple streaked hair nodded and made a :3 face she leaned back into her leather velvet recliner  
  
"im so happy for u!" china yelled to his former best friend japan smiled then they both laughed like the bffs in movies do after having a fight  
  
spain was upset nobody was paying attention 2 him  
  
he sobbed and clung to romanos legs "love me"  
  
"ew fuck off im sad" said romano before kicking spain onto germanys legs  
  
germany looked down at spain then began to cry with him "such a tragic love story!"  
  
romano stopped crying for a minute to apply some raccoon eyeliner to his face, then he resumed crying looking like a pathetic kicked puppy  
  
SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP  
  
the girl with purple streaked hair drank her slushie loudly  
  
the group of bullies was starting to split like a cheerleader whos ready to get fucked hard against the wall  
  
germany and spain were getting close  
  
romano was all alone  
  
china and japan became bffs again  
  
and who knows where america went?????????/  
  
suddenly he burst through the window  
  
"hi guys i bought convenient sex toys" he said  
  
he threw some dildos in front of his friends  
  
"MINE" YEllED SPain beFORE SNATCHING UP THE SPARKLY PINK ONE  
  
"yay!" japan cried "now we dont have to have sex toys in our drawers somehow for plot purposes!"  
  
germany looked at one of the sex toys and blushed. she was so beautifui  
  
"are u ok germgerm" said america  
  
germany had hearts eyes. he picked up a sex toy delicately.  
  
he kissed her.  
  
"boo!" said italy throwing popcorn "bring back the yaoi"  
  
japan got hit in the eye with a piece of popcorn  
  
"agh!" he yelled fallling to the ground  
  
"japan!" yelled romano he ran over to him  
  
"japanties are u ok!!!!!!"  
  
japan cried "i dont know im so tired"  
  
romano cried 2  
  
prussia looked over and glared  
  
"HEY GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND"  
  
"boyfriend?" gasped japan then fainted  
  
romano growled "LOOK WHAT U DID"  
  
"EXCUSE U IT WAS UR FAULT"  
  
"I DIDNT DO ANYTHING"  
  
"stop fighting" cried germany, clinging to both spain and america "IM TOO SENSITIVE FOR THIS"  
  
"dude get off me" said america in disgust  
  
spain oinked  
  
to be continued in like eight years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been nearly a year but hi


End file.
